Moment with Mike: Suffering from "RVS"

0 May 24, 2013, 12:52 p.m.

Main Photo: Moment with Mike: Suffering from "RVS"

5/27/2013

By Mike Garrison
LiveRC.com

It has been quite a delightful Memorial Day Weekend so far here. Fun with family and friends, a little backyard BBQ, and the local pool even opened up despite the rainy weather. Unfortunately after a long weekend with the out of town family, and a few incidents here and there, my family had be tested at a local doctors office this morning for a rare medical condition. This medical condition is known as "Racer Vision Syndrome", also known as "RVS".

With RVS all of your surroundings are visually and mentally impaired into something related to racing. This condition can be hard for family members, significant others, friends, and even neighbors to deal with. Studies show that whether you are a veteran racer or a newbie racer, you should periodically check yourself to make sure you have not been exposed to and/or are suffering from RVS. As time progresses, and your racing continues, those with RVS will begin to suffer more and more from its symptoms.

If you have experienced any of the following this weekend, such as I have, you are at risk for Racer Vision Syndrome:

Your aunt from out of town drives up in an old station wagon with one window taped up. You ask her, "Why didn't whoever painted this thing take the window masks out?"
Your uncle is in the Memorial Day spirit wearing a red, white, and blue button up shirt. You immediately think that the design is stolen from that of Jared Tebo's paint scheme.
Your grandma shows up with tiny blue earrings with ridges on them. You ask her, "Grammie, are those serrated wheel nuts your wearing?"
Your neighbor with the last name "Novak", returns your dog after he escaped the back yard. Instead of thanking her, you just stare awkwardly wondering why she isn't wear orange.
After seeing a commercial for Spiderman, you immediately run to make sure your JConcepts tires are made of rubber and not Spiderman's web, as from the looks of the two Peter Parker and Jason Ruona are quite possibly the same person.
During dinner the table cloth is bunched up, instead of straightening it out you bunch it up more and begin racing in your mind over the table cloth whoops and around the salad bowl.
There is a young child running around the house, you're not really sure who it belongs to, nor do you care...instead you're thinking of what might happen if that kid goes anywhere NEAR your new 1:8 buggy.
It's time to wash dishes. Using the kitchen sink spray nozzle, you wash in the same circular pattern and technique as you would when lightly watering a track before the mains.
Your dinner date asks if you can watch a movie together alone, you give her the choice of the "2008 IFMAR World Championships" or "Carpet Racers: A Crash Course".
Your taking your aunt back to the old station wagon, while closing the door the rust bucket cuts your hand. You seal the wound with tire glue, a band-aid, and check it off the list of vehicles to borrow when going on an R/C roadtrip.

I have been diagnosed with a severe case of Racer Vision Syndrome, and doctors say that no matter how many races I skip, how many other activities I try, and no matter how many times I leave the track with thoughts of never coming back...I cannot run from my RVS, and I will ALWAYS be a racer.