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Sept. 12, 2013, 9:46 a.m.
9/16/2013
By Mike Garrison
LiveRC.com
Today I have to do one of the hardest things a man ever has to do in his lifetime. The one thing that every man dreads, the one thing every man hopes will never happen, and the one thing that every man must thoroughly prepare for.
It was late Sunday afternoon when we had guests arrive at my parents house. They were elegantly dressed in fresh pressed pants and dress shirt, and an elegant church dress. Old friends of my parents, we welcomed them into our home and led them to living room to sit down and chat for awhile. We spent an hour or so all talking, laughing, and enjoying sharing stories when all of the sudden the front door opened up. It had not been shut all the way, and my best friend in the entire world came running in...Bully the bulldog.
Bully is a bulldog / bassett hound mix, and his unique appearance and personality makes him a real ladies man and cool cat to hang out with. While almost all of the ladies in the world love my dear friend Bully, his love tactics would not work on this day.
He approached our guest (in the elegant church dress) to introduce himself. She ignored him. He proceeded to introduce himself by giving her his famous bulldog smile. She still ignored him. He then pulled out the big guns, and went straight for the kill...
Multiple obscene gestures and actions towards our guest resulted in him being hauled off to the backyard by house security (my parents). Sometimes when you have swag like he does, you think you hook-up with any girl on the planet, however, random acts such as this on random strangers can get you into BIG trouble.
Today, I am sitting here at my office looking at the sad, scared, and worried face of my best friend Bully. After much preparation, I sat him down this morning to explain to him that his actions have left the family no choice. When a bulldog loves a woman, he must show that love through actions like sitting, shaking hands, and maybe an occasional kiss...nothing more. In order to ensure that he will follow these rules, I went on to explain to him that today is the day he will lose certain male parts of his body.
Angry with me, he has locked himself in his dog carrier with a brand new package of tires. Knowing how important R/C tires are to me, he is slowly shredding them one after another to show his anger, disappointment, and frustration with the decision we have made.
To all of the guys out there who are faced with the situation of sitting down your best friend, explaining to him that he is not allowed to hook-up with random people, at random times, in random places, and that his actions have resulted in a medical doctor taking surgical action for a one week special of only $64.99...I wish you the best.
I love you Bully, and your STILL a man to me buddy.
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